I’m sure we can all be controlling to some extent – some more than others. One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn in my last 6 decades here is to notice it when it starts to take a hold of my ego and to step away from it.
When we feel the need to control a situation or, worse, a person, we stifle free will and – for want of a better term – the will of God. Control actually has the opposite effect of what we truly want to happen, which is an organic, harmonious outcome from another, or a situation. By enforcing our own will and ignoring others, by nature we block creativity, creating a bubble of subservience rather than harmony.
Stating and outlining one’s desired outcome, though, then letting the ‘Gods’ decide of how and where it will go, is immensely more powerful and has far greater outcomes for both oneself and the situation at large.
We don’t have all the answers. But the times I’ve decided ‘this’ is how it will be and fought my corner to make sure it does, invariably it’s resulted in an unsatisfactory outcome for all. Conversely, every time I’ve resisted the urge to control the ways and means of a situation and let others (including the Gods) work it out in their own way, the more solid and inclusive and sustainable the outcome has become.
We don’t have to look far these days to see the result of one person’s inflexible control over their desired outcome and the results can be devastating for the majority (and, I suspect, not the result they desired at all).
Suggesting an outcome and involving all parties in the discussion creates an abundance of ideas and strengthens the resulting situation. Not only that, everyone feels a part of the solution and therefor responsible for sustaining their part of the result, which creates a longer-lasting outcome… a win|win for all.